— THE PHILOSOPHY
Why
'Remembering You Matter Too' ?
Not instead of anyone else.
Not more than anyone else.
But as well as.
Three words, 'I matter too', that changed everything for me. And that now underpin everything I do.
The Word that Matters Most
In a world that tells capable, caring women that putting themselves first is selfish, the word ‘too’ does a lot of work.
It isn’t ‘instead’. It doesn’t ask you to stop caring for the people in your life, or to step back from your responsibilities, or to become somebody different. It doesn’t require you to subtract yourself from the life you’ve built.
It’s ‘too’. As well as. Alongside.
You can hold your responsibilities and also hold yourself. You can carry what genuinely needs carrying and also recognise that you are not just the person who carries things. You can matter to the people around you and also matter to yourself.
That distinction — small as it seems — changes everything about how a person is able to stand in her own life.
Why 'Remembering' ?
Because most women I work with already know this. Not as a thought they’ve never had, but as something they once knew — or perhaps never quite forgot — that got buried somewhere along the way.
The accumulation of responsibility does something to a person’s sense of themselves. Gradually, almost invisibly, the centre of gravity shifts. Where once there was a person making her own choices, there is now a person whose primary orientation is outward: towards the needs of others, the demands of circumstances, the expectations that have solidified around her.
It isn’t a dramatic loss. It happens over years, not overnight. And because it’s gradual, it often goes unnoticed — until something makes her pause and ask: where am I in all of this?
The answer is always the same. She’s there. She hasn’t gone anywhere. She’s been underneath all of it, waiting.
That’s why ‘remembering’. Not learning something new. Not rebuilding from scratch. Returning to what was always true — that she matters too.
What this means in practice
Remembering You Matter Too is not a philosophy about self-care. It’s not about setting boundaries, or saying no, or doing less.
It’s about understanding the pattern that formed — how responsibility accumulated, what it built itself around, what keeps it in place — and from that understanding, starting to include yourself in your own decisions again.
Not because you’ve forced yourself to. Not because you’ve imposed a new set of rules on yourself. But because something has shifted at a deeper level. You’ve seen something you can’t unsee. You’ve remembered something you can’t forget.
And from that place, your relationship with responsibility changes. Not because the responsibilities have changed, but because you have — or more precisely, because you’ve come back to yourself.
That is what this work is for. And it’s why everything I do carries these words.
— REMEMBERING ...
Remembering You Matter Too
If this has resonated with you, you might be interested in my fortnightly newsletter, Worth Noticing, exploring what it means, in practice and daily life, to remember that you matter too.